Planet of the Apes

What a preachfest! Charlton Heston arrives on Planet Ape like the second coming of the Ugly American. Mark that; he's bigger than his country of origin, as displayed by his laughter at the US flag marking the rough gravesite of a fallen comrade. This is the Ugly Human in all his notorious glory.

Beholding mute humanoids foraging in green fields, Heston preens and declares, "In six months, we'll be running this planet." Earlier he complains that there has to be something in the universe better than man. "Has to be," he says, chomping on the bitter end of a shrunken cigar and manfully adjusting the bandanna tied around his neck, as if anticipating his coming slavery at the paws of the planet's true masters.

Which are we to believe, that he wants a better world or to run it? Rather than delve that deeply into his character, the screenplay is content to tantalize us with broad assertions from the Ugly Human.

Don't think he's heartless. Heston tells his mute love interest, a brunette bombshell in the latest style of revealing fur sash, "Lots of lovemaking, but no love. That was the world we made." You can hear the ache in his throat as he realizes this painful home truth. Better, if you ask me, that he had taken the advice given later at an otherwise comical ape funeral: "Weep if you must, but make an end of sorrow."

A poignant moment in this classic science fiction film which has nevertheless aged gracelessly is Heston's attempts to write a note to his ape slave masters. Cornelius, head scientist of the ape colony and all-around grump, sees the note and takes it for himself, reading it when no one else can see. How fortunate that he can read English, since Heston's written cry for help is legible enough to him that Cornelius promptly disposes of the note.

"Maybe he's intelligent," Cornelius says of Heston, "but he's also crazy!"

Planet of the Apes was made in the 1968, at the height of countercultural fervor, and this mood permeates the film. In a moment of self-reflection, Heston asks rhetorically (the Ugly Human only speaks in rhetoric), "If man was superior, why didn't he survive?" This line is played for pathos but comes across now as dated and self-pitying from a figure who lacks the depth of character to come up with a satisfactory answer. Which is too bad, because Charlton Heston was a civil rights activist and boldly stood up against the Establishment before it was popular to do so: to see him reduced to this thuggish and preachy misanthrope is a real shame.